[meimeidos]

Since I don't really know how you really are with them...and as you say na that one guy has never yelled at a girl before, until he was with you...then maybe it is you.

Yeah, I think so too. Kahiit hindi ako yung unang nagtataas ng boses, and I speak softly sa una, pero alam ko kung gaano ka uhmm, lethal yung words na binibitawan ko. And then yun na yung starting point, the moment someone shouts at me, something inside me, yung parang nag iignite and yun na, I shout back. Kahit mas malaki at matangkad sakin, I don't care I fight back.

im saying this because i have the same characteristic that you have. i don't want to lose. may sakit sa gigil, ika nga nila. and at times, ive noticed, that at times when i don't control myself, i become irrational, attacking the person directly (verbally of course)instead of the argument, then it would spiral down into resurrecting the other person's past mistakes. i don't speak vulgar words but i become very very sarcastic.

then lately i realized what was going on. my habit wasn't resolving the issue, i use my sarcasm, i dig in into her past mistakes (in response, she would too) not to resolve the issue but to make her feel miserable, and to make me feel good. you know the feeling when sarcasm hits her in the spot? it feels good isn't it? but that won't get you any nearer into a resolution.

That's me

Y'know, if the problem keeps on arising on different guys then maybe you should try to evaluate yourself since you're done evaluating them. Baka syao talaga nanggaling ang problem. Maybe you are too pushy, or you resort to increasing your tone too much (you should remember na lalake ang kausap mo. Taasan mo ng boses yan, 90% sure tataasan ka din niyan).

I tried to evaluate myself, and I asked advices from my closest friends. Kahit nagkwento ako ng situation ko, they still think I was wronged. They keep on blaming na, it's the other party yung at fault.Na something is wrong with my head and I always end up sa mga worst type of guys. Maybe I'm not too honest with them, maybe I omitted some scenes that would make me look good. Kaya siguro I brought it here, sa forums. Kasi I can speak more freely and honestly and I can expect brutally honest answers as well,

Uhmm, I kinda felt relieved kasi, Akala ko something is wrong with me na, yun nga I'm drawn to those type of guys. Maybe sa lahat ng lalake there's a seed ng "hulk" residing, and my temper problem keeps on nourishing it kaya aun.

Thanks a lot guys.

I'll try to manage my "temper" issues.